31 (2016) #486

“31”, an original Rob Zombie film that fails to be all that original. Once again, it’s set in the 1970’s, yet again it stars his wife Sheri Moon, and while watching the film, it feels like you're watching a carnie version of The Running Man. This is also one time where Zombie doesn’t over explain things, leaving you wanting a bit more information about some characters, primarily the three aristocrats that seem to be running the event that’s taking place. Knowing this, the film is still to watch and is elevated by the performance of one individual.

The movie begins with a cold opening, black and white, with a haunting speech from Doom-Head, perfectly performed by Richard Brake (Mandy). This scene sets a high-level mark that the remainder of the film attempts and sometimes achieves. Here, Doom-Head is taunting his recent victim before finishing the job. He feels like an evolved version of Otis from "House of 1000 Corpses", just more methodical than maniacal; both are completely terrifyingly effective.

The next scene is a bright and sunny day, and we are introduced to the happy go lucky crew of carnies. The next few minutes are spent introducing this set of characters enough for the viewers to know their names and not much else. While driving at night, they come across a trap and are quickly overcome by unknown assailants, once again reminiscent of "House of 1000 Corpses". Some are killed while the others are tied up and driven off into the night. When the five carnies wake up, they find themselves as game pawns with odds of the survival being announced by three bizarre classically dressed aristocrats. These three explain that they are about to play the game 31 and all they have to do is survive the relentless onslaught by the various "Heads", beginning with Sick-Head, then the killer clowns Schizo-Head and Psycho-Head, and then Death-Head and Sex-Head, who was a rather inquisitive flirt earlier in the film.

The carnies are able to defeat the five "Heads" while losing two of their own. The aristocrats are forced to call in the sixth "Head", Doom-Head, who eventually agrees. He makes quick work of two of the carnies, which leaves Charly as the sole survivor, played by Shari Moon. Charly is able to survive the stated 12 hours of the game and Doon-Head is called off. Not caring about the rules, Doom-Head and Charly have a final stare down before the credits begin.

     

 

Devil's Rejects (2005) #412

One thing that Rob Zombie is extremely gifted in is the ability to draw so many recognizable names to appear in his films; from Danny Trejo to Kane Hodder, to Ken Foress to even comic Brian Posehn. Sadly, he isn't nearly as gifted at creating a solid horror film. Granted, "The Devil's Rejects" was only his second feature film and is an obvious homage to the grindhouse films of the 1970's but it stands to argue that it is he weakest production, overly violent without a purpose, and it is simply not entertaining for the casual horror film viewer. Besides the fact that the movie stars three of the characters from Zombie's "House of 1000 Corpses", "The Devil's Rejects" barely functions as a horror movie in the first place.

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

It felt like we had to wait forever for Rob Zombie’s directing debut movie “House of 1000 Corpses”. No one wanted to distribute it because of its extreme content and after seeing clips of it at one of his concerts, the crowd just wanted more and didn’t care how it came out. And when it finally did hit the theaters and his fans flocked to see it, they soon left confused saying “that was it?” The movie displayed Zombie’s unique taste for over-the-top and demented characters, jarring and twisted motives, and unfortunately was completely unaware that he was filming a movie and not a three minute music video. It also lacked any real scary moments or tension beyond the scenes where the character Otis is yelling and tormenting his victims.

“House of 1000 Corpses” is essentially a retelling of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” with a bit of “The Hills Have Eyes” thrown in for flavor. Two young couples on a road trip exploring places with weird attractions get talked into seeking out the location where a murder named Dr. Satan was hung for his crime against humanity. Along the way they pick up a hitchhiker named Baby, who happens to belong to a clan of demented murders. After the car gets a flat, the group is towed back to Baby’s house where they couples meet the Firefly clan. As they try to leave, they’re attacked by the family and then tortured and killed in various ways.

Lords of Salem (2012)

Like every other movie Rob Zombie has directed after “House of 1000 Corpses”, “Lords of Salem” is a clever idea that fails to deliver. This time around, Zombie has written a story that has less gore, less out right violence, and tries to make his characters more grounded and believable. His penchant for focusing on the film’s villains is still present, as the main character is slowly seduced as she becomes the newest member of a modern day witch coven. While his wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, gives a better-than-expected performance in this film and the rest of the horror star-studded cast do a thorough job as well, the overall chemistry still falls flat somehow. This is Rob Zombie's first original film that is easily accessible to a mainstream audience.

Heidi is a DJ at a radio station in Salem, Massachusetts. She receives a mysterious record that she decides to play on the air, even though it clearly does not fit with the station’s normal style or rotation; the track is a recording of witches chanting. While Heidi is befriended and brain washed by three modern day witches, a local historian is following his gut feelings and trying to find out who the “Lords of Salem” really are.

Favorite moment - Realizing that one of the modern day witches is Patrica Quinn (Magenta from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show)!!! 

Modern Witches

A Salem Witch's Execution

Heidi and the Beast

A possessed Heidi

Halloween (2007)

Just because you grew up loving a movie doesn’t mean that you should one day make your version because that version is going to turn out to be a horrible piece of crap that insults the original more than anything else. And for god’s sake, do not ruin the magic of the original by creating some insipid and horrible reason as to why a child grows up to be an unstoppable killing machine. This is the crime that Rob Zombie made and is convicted of by legions of horror movie fans across the planet when he made his version of “Halloween”. This film is a perfect example of what happens when a film maker tries to recreate something and he is clearly out of his league….or out of his mind. He takes the simplicity of the Michael Myers mythos and explains everything, that Michael had a horrible childhood with a P.O.S dad, typical bullies at school, and way too much time on his obsession with masks and his mom asking him to take them off. In fact, Zombie takes the first 35 or so minutes of the movie to explore Michaels’ childhood and how Dr. Loomis tried to help him before everything goes horribly wrong.

Once the movie moves forward and introduces the high school aged Laurie Strobe, the film finds its groove and becomes the remake that we (or maybe just myself) were hoping for; an updated version that trades in the slow and steady build of tension for a more deliberate sense of adrenaline and violence. I’m still not sure how I feel about Malcolm McDowell as Dr. Loomis but I think this is because he plays such a prevalent role in the part of the movie that I don’t care for; his part in the later scenes is quite enjoyable. I do approve of the casting choices of Tyler Mane as an adult Michael, Dee Wallace as Cynthia Strobe,  Brad Dourif as the town Sheriff, and a slew of special appearances including Sid Haig, Ken Foree, Udo Kier, Danny Trejo, Bill Moseley. Scout Taylor-Compton did a great job as Laurie considering who she was replacing; the role of Laurie Strobe almost felt like it was written for the young Jamie Lee Curtis so you can’t be too harsh on Scout for giving it her best to fill this legendary role and making it her own. It’s obvious that the character of Laurie Strobe is not meant to be played the same just by the lines of dialogue.

What I didn’t like –

1.       The first 35 minutes.

2.       Michael killing the Strobes.

3.       The actor who played young Michael. Oh, I guess that’s a part of the first 35 minutes…

What I liked –

1.       The scene in which Michael escapes from the mental hospital.

2.       The kids that Laurie babysits.     

3.       Scout’s version of playing Laurie.

Actor Scout Taylor-Compton as Laurie Strobe (in the middle)

Actor Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strobe (on the left)

Actor Malcolm McDowell as Dr. Loomis

Actor Donald Pleasence as Dr. Loomis

Michael Myers 1978

 Michael Myers 2007

Michael Myers 2007

Michael Myers 1978 saying "Hello!"