X (2022) #506

"X" is the first released film in a new trilogy by writer/director Ti West and starring Mia Goth in all three films. Chronologically, "X" is the middle film in the narrative and takes places in 1978, preceded by "Pearl" which takes place in 1918, and then the series wraps up with "Maxxine" in 1985. "X" and "Pearl" were filmed back-to-back during the height of Covid, allowing Ti West to make the most of the location that was used in both films. 

Maxine is girl who knows what she wants and quotes "I will not accept a life I do not deserve". She also declares "you're a fucking sex symbol" to her reflection in the mirror, right before leaving for a X-rated film shoot out at a remote farm. Coming along is her boyfriend Wayne, fellow exotic dancer Bobby-Lynne and her primary scene partner Jackson, and director RJ and his shy girlfriend Lorraine. After a misunderstanding with the property owner Howard, the crew quickly gets to work. With her scene coming up later in the day, Maxine walks around the property and runs into Pearl, Howard's wife. Invited into the house, Pearl becomes almost obsessive over Maxine, showing her an old picture from her youth where the two look nearly identical. Maxine is able to get out of the house right before Howard returns.

Pearl secretly watches Maxine film her sex scene in the barn, which entices her to seduce Howard. He says he can't, and this triggers Pearl's unhealthy murderous tendencies. Her first victim is RJ, who she finds after he decides to leave the project after Lorraine requests to be in the film with the others. Then one by one the group is separated. Waye is killed by Pearl in the barn, while Howard locks Lorraine in the basement and then takes Jackson out to the river under the pretense that they are looking for his confused wife. Pearl sneaks into bed while Maxine is sleeping and molests her. Pearl quickly leaves when Maxine wakes up screaming. Bobby-Lynne tries to help Pearl, who is standing on a dock naked, but Pearl pusher her into the river where a large alligator quickly kills the young woman.

Lorraine escapes the basement only to be killed by Howard using a shotgun. Howard dies as he and Pearl tries to move the body. Maxine narrowly misses being shot Pearl, how is thrown back by the kickback of the gun. Pearl is finally killed when Maxine drives the van over her head. It's only at the end that we learn that Maxine is the daughter of a popular tv preacher, who constantly shown on the tv throughout the film. 

"X" is comprised of some great talent such as Brittany Snow (Would You Rather) as Bobby-Lynne, Martin Henderson (The Ring) as Wayne, Jenna Ortega as Lorraine, and of course Mia Goth as Maxine. This film is Ti West's return to horror, having been nine years since he had made "The Sacrament".

Fun detail - Plowing Service is painted on the side of the van the group drives to the farm in, a humorous innuendo that add levity to a dark film.

Superhost (2021) #505

"Superhost", a Shudder Original Film, was a delightful surprise that I completely love. I had heard a few rumors about the film before I saw it for the first time, and I'm so happy that I followed their advice. The film has a simple straight forward story that has a flawless execution, a topical and well used premise, and a stellar cast. Filmed during the height Covid, the cast of five prove to be more than enough to keep the story moving and the movie entertaining. The photography is crystal clear, the background music supports the scenes without ever overwhelming the moment, and the pacing is perfect. I highly recommend this film for this Halloween season and beyond.

Claire and Teddy are the hosts of a once popular Vlog dedicated to reviewing Airbnb's and other lodgings. They're losing subscribers, so their next review is extremely important, as Claire does not want to rely on her parents for any kind of financial support. They arrive at a remote house that appears gorgeous on the outside, but that's all they can see when the security code they've been provided fails. Trying to call the hosts prove fruitless to the spotty phone reception in the mountains. While recording a scene for the Vlog, Rebecca shows up, the supposed owner of the house, and lets them in. Rebecca seems a little odd but harmless, and once she leaves, Clair and Teddy begin recording their review. They love most of the house but find the overabundance of security cameras all throughout the house concerning.

Tension begin to simmer, first when Claire becomes frustrated with the quality of their first upload and the possibility that their Vlog channel has peaked, and then when Teddy sees a person standing outside at night, starring at the house. During the next day during a walk, Claire suggests they make videos like they used to, videos that had friction with the hosts, but Teddy disagrees by saying that those felt like click-bait; click-bait or not, those videos brought in clicks. This comes back to haunt them when Vera, a previous host tracks them done and confronts them in the driveway. When Rebecca shows up to see what the disturbance is all about, Vera tells her how they gave her a horrible review that ruined her business to the point that she has to sell her house. Rebecca tells Vera to leave or she'll call the cops, but when Vera tries to persuade Rebecca to be careful with the vloggers, Rebecca screams that she'll cut Vera open. Vera speeds away and Rebecca is back to her happy self, saying that she's ready for her super host interview. During the recording, Rebecca's behavior slowly becomes odd and erratic but ends when Rebecca recovers from a trance and announces that she is a super host!

The next day while hiking through the rails, Claire takes the opportunity to record their experience with Vera much to Teddy's chagrin. When they reach a gorgeous lookout point, Teddy sets the camera up and proposes to Claire, something that he had been planning to do from the start of the trip. She acts excited and says yes, only to tell Teddy that he was a genius for such a gimmick, breaking his heart. Seeing how distraught he is, Claire tries to reassure him that they will talk about their future when they get home, and everything she does is for them. When they return to the house, they begin to find evidence that they home may not belong to Rebecca. They agree that they should leave, they pack up and try to drive away, only to be stopped by Rebecca who is standing in the road. Highly erratic, she makes them follow her into the woods where she leads them to Vera, who is tied up to a tree. 

Why is Vera here, tied to the tree? What happened to the original owners? Who really is Rebecca and what does she want with Claire and Teddy? And will Claire and Teddy make it home alive and safe?

The movie stars Sara Canning as Claire, Osric Chau as Teddy, and Gracie Gillam, (Fright Night), as Rebecca. Horror icon Barbara Crampton, (Re-Animator, From Beyond, and others) has a supporting role as Vera. As I mentioned, all four actors give a phenomenal performance that I really enjoyed. The story arc has the twist and turn in all the right places, keeping the film moving at a nice quick pace.

 

Willy's Wonderland (2021) #504

Nicolas Cage is a treasure and we must recognize him for the genius that he is. Only he could give us such memorable performances in such movies as "The Wicker Man" and "Mandy" Adding to that phenomenal list is "Willy's Wonderland". Only an actor of Nicolas Cage's degree could be so entertaining without saying a single word. With only actions and complete commitment to the role is he able to make this movie all that it is and more. Mr. Cage also served as a producer, becoming attached to the production after the script garnered a cult following while posted online.

The premise is simple, The Man was minding his own business driving through Nevada when his tires are shredded. He's picked up by a local mechanic who offers to fix his car for cash or work for a night for Tex Macadoo, the owner of Willy's Wonderland. Willy's is a decrepit and haunting old restaurant with eight rundown animatronic animals. All The Man has to do is clean the place up, take his breaks, and wear the uniform, a Willy's Wonderland t-shirt. The Man wastes no time and gets straight to work, taking brakes to sip soda and play a functional pinball machine.

One by one, the animatronic critters, all of which are possessed by a cult of children killers, come to life and try to kill The Man. Not surprised by what's going on, The Man dispatches each oversized character as they come, as long as it doesn't interfere with his break schedule. First Ozzie Ostrich attacks in the parlor, then Gus Gorilla tries to take down The Man in the restroom. Each fight is quick and brutal, and lucky for The Man, there are plenty of clean t-shirts to change into after the fighting is done.

While The Man is busy cleaning and kicking ass, teenager Liv and her friends arrive at Willy's with the intention of burning it to the ground, knowing it's evil legacy. When they realize that The Man is inside, Liv breaks in to get him out, but her and her friends become trapped inside. Having potential victims beside The Man, the killer animatronics go after the teens. The Man saves Liz while the others die in classic slasher fashion, until the town sheriff comes to stop The Man from killing the possessed animatronics. It's revealed that the mechanic, the sheriff, and Tex have been sending drifters to Willy's as a form of human sacrifice for years to keep the town safe. But as killers do, Willy himself takes out the sheriff so he can go toe to toe with The Man. Never get in the way of a deranged weasel.
 

Most people who have seen this movie will agree that it has one of the most catchy and repetitive theme songs ever, played over and over and over throughout the movie, sung by Willy.

 

Things Will Be Different (2024) #503

 

What kind of world would it be like if people easily believed in the ability of time travel, or rather, a room that could grant time travel with a spell and a phone call? This is the kind of world that "Things Will Be Different" takes place in, and the film is presented in a way that it works. Kept on a small scale with only a handful of characters, this bizarre time twisting movie forces the two main characters, Joseph and Sidney, moments to reflect on the choices they have made. The film presents more than one montage showing the passing of time in such an engaging creative fashion that fits perfectly in a movie centered around time.

Joseph and his sister Sidney have successfully pulled of some kind of heist. Jospeh is waiting patiently, with the money, for her at a small breakfast diner. They leave quickly when they hear sirens in the distance, heading off into the woods. They change clothes and walk off into nature, coming out to a cornfield near a solitary farmhouse. The siblings scare away a group of guys drinking and shooting, which results in a call to the local police. With sirens in the background again, the siblings quickly perform a multi-step ritual that ends in a dark attic like room with a phone. When they emerge, the two are in a different timeline, and all they have to do is wait fourteen days before repeating the process and returning to their timeline. All seems well as they make plans on how to spend their share of the loot, and returning to loved ones, but when it's time to go back to their timeline, they discover that they are trapped.

Learning that they are caught in a time vice, Jospeh and Sidney are forced into an agreement with the powers that be to kill an assassin determined to use the "Time Closet" and disrupt the timeline. Communication is made by a safe and a tape recorder, with only some questions answered. They wait, a very long time, for the assassin to come and when it does, Jospeh and Sidney fight to the death against the mysterious stranger. It all leads to the promise that "Things will be different." 

"Things Will Be Different" is the debut feature film from Michael Felker, the longtime editor for Justin Benson and Aaron Morehead, which might be why they both appear in some capacity in the movie. Riley Dandy carries the movie as Sidney, bringing the emotional weight as the mother longing to be returned to her young daughter. Adam David Thompson also does a great job as Joseph, acting the stoic and caring older brother while trying to redeem himself to Sidney for some past wrong. The two made a great sibling pair and I can't wait what all three do next.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) #502

In the vein similar to that of “Halloween”, the new “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” follows the events after the first film while bypassing the existence of the other entries in the series. Knowing that, this film still doesn't make complete sense if you're trying to connect it narratively to the first film. So instead, go into this movie as if it is the first in a series, just one that reminds you of a movie of the same name. Doing this, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is a taunt slasher that presents some memorable kills. Unlike the original, which hinted at the extreme violence but isn't shown, this one has it all on screen.

The film opens with a group of young entrepreneurs, Melody and her sister Lila, and Dante and his girlfriend Ruth, who have plans to auction off properties in the ghost town of Harlow, creating a vibrant and gentrified scene for other people their age. Things go astray when they find that one of the houses is still occupied by an old woman her silent, hulking "son". She is rushed to the hospital with her son, driven by the two officers who had come to evict her; Ruth, goes along after feeling guilty about the old woman. The others stay and welcome a bus load of investors, while Lila gets to know the local mechanic Richter. During their conversation, we learn that Lila is a traumatized survivor of a school shooting.

Things take a sudden turn for the worse when the old woman dies on the way to the hospital. Her son reacts violently, attacking the police officers, causing the ambulance to crash. Ruth is momentarily knocked out but awakes in time to see the man cutting off the old woman's face, only to overlay it over his own. Leatherface is back and angry! He quickly kills the driver and Ruth before heading home, where he finds a town full of fresh victims!

When Richter finds out that the old woman might actually still own her home, he takes the keys from Dante and Melody, telling them that he'll return them once they prove they own her house. The two are forced to search the house but run into Leatherface, who attacks Dante. He's distracted by Richter, whose death allows Melody time to escape. She runs to the bus, where the investors are staying dry during a storm. Leatherface enters the bus for one of the most memorable horror moments of 2022. With chainsaw in hand, Leatherface does what he does best, pure bloody chaos. Lila and Melody escape only to run into Sally, the sole survivor of the first film. She has revenge on the mind, but she isn't a Laurie Strode and gets killed before she gets to take Leatherface down for good. It's up to a gun wielding Lila, coming to terms with her fear of firearms, to go toe to toe with Leatherface. He's old, he's getting tired, right?

Favorite moment of the film is the final death. If you know, you know.

Clown (2014) #501

From the director and writer team that gave us Marvel Studios beloved Spider-Man trilogy comes “Clown”, a grisly story about a loving father who dons a cursed clown outfit and unwittingly becomes the avatar for a murderous Icelandic demon. What fun! It’s a subtle trend that Marvel hires horror creators due to the fact that they are able to produce effective movies with lower budgets, essentially proving themselves worthy of a large blockbuster budget. This film was produced by Eli Roth, who also makes a brief appearance in the film. "Clown" is also a great film to those that love body horror, so you easily watch this with "Killer Klowns From Space" or "The Fly".

Kent is a loving husband and father and takes the task of donning a clown outfit that he finds in a house he is preparing to sell when the clown that was hired for his son's birthday doesn't show up. A smash at the party, Kent falls asleep in the clown outfit, and in the morning, he finds that he can't remove the wig, take off the nose, of pull off the outfit. He's forced to go to work in the clown outfit and tries once again to remove it but ends up hurting himself. When he arrives home, his wife Meg is able to pull off the nose but doing so causes Kent extreme, blood pain. It seems that he's become one with the outfit. 

Kent tracks down the owner of the outfit, who warns him not to touch it. The mysterious man, Karlsson,played by Peter Stomare (Bad Milo), knows the history of the outfit, explaining that it is the embodiment of an Icelandic demon known as the Cloyne, who must consume a child for every month of winter. Karlsson drugs Kent in order to decapitate him, but Kent awakes and escapes in time. Unfortunately for Kent, he begins to change into the demon, slowly becoming possessed and giving in to his hunger for small children. Trying to resist the demon, Kent tries to kill himself, with disastrous results.

Finally, the demon takes control, and the feeding begins. His first meal was Robbie, who dies in an accident involving Kent's attempt to decapitate his own head. The second is a bully from his son's school. Then two more at a Chuck E Cheese. The movie is dark! For the fifth and final sacrifice, the demon goes after Kent's son. Meg tries to fight off the full demon Cloyne, but will she be able to save her son from the maniacal killer clown? 

There's a great moment in the film when Meg meets Karlsson, who goes on to explain that he fell victim to Cloyne, and the only way to be set free was to devour five terminally ill children from the hospital that he volunteered at, as an entertaining clown!

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) #500

Watch the trailer here

For my 500th review, I've chosen one of my favorite horror movies of all time, 1978's "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"! This movie is a true classic and represents what a real remake should be! It retains the thrilling scares and premise of the original movie while updating enough elements to have it feel modern. Both films are iconic and are enjoyed by horror fans of all ages. The sets are characters as much as the actors, and the special effects of the time are truly haunting. Yes, some of these aspects may seem dated when compared to films produced today, so remember that this film is 46 years old.

The film opens with a montage of transparent amoebalike organisms leaving their planet, somehow, and floating on the cosmic winds towards Earth. Some land and take root in San Francisco, becoming a pod with pink flowers. The next scene introduces our hero, Matthew Bennell, a health inspector for the San Franciso Health Department, giving a surprise visit at a French restaurant. I love this character because he is a government employee, but he isn't the typical cop or military type. Next, a lab tech from the Health Department, Elizabeth, finds one of the plants and brings it home to the house share with her boyfriend Geoffrey. The next morning, the plant is missing, and Geoffrey begins to act strangely. Concerned, Elizabeth turns to Matthew for help. He offers to introduce her to his psychiatrist friend David Kibner, but then the next day Matthew is approached by his dry cleaner, telling Matthew that his wife is acting like an imposter, the same way that Elizabeth was describing Geoffrey.

At a party, Matthew is able to introduce Elizabeth to Kibner, who is trying to calm a distressed woman who is also explaining that her husband isn't who he is. He tells the woman that she has nothing to worry about, the same advice he gives to Elizabeth. Feeling dismissed, Elizabeth leaves for home. Also at the party is Jack, played by Jeff Goldblum (Mr. Frost), another friend of Matthew, who personally has issues with Kibler's work. The film then follows Jack as he returns to the mud bath spa that he operates with his wife Nancy, played by Veronica Cartwright (Alien), and the clients that are passing their time at the spa. Jack becomes lethargic as Nancy finds an unfinished body double of her husband laying on one of the massage tables. They contact Matthew, who brings an unresponsive Elizabeth with him. The four realize that something of a large scope is taking place and that they are all in danger. 

Over the course of the following day, Matthew finds evidence of the replacement of the people he knows around town. When he tries to call his government contacts, he finds that they've been compromised as well. Matthew and Elizabeth come to realize that everyone is being replaced by a pod, and when one is near you, it takes your form while you sleep. That night, Matthew, Elizabeth, Jack, and Nancy try to elude mobs and authorities when they find out that they are some of the last humans left in the city. Kibler is leading the search for the humans, explaining that everything is so much easier after the change. One by one the group is split up, and despite his best efforts, Matthew is unable to keep Elizabeth from being replaced. Matthew is able to burn down a warehouse full of the pods, but his efforts may be in vain. Sometime later, a day or two, Nancy comes across Matthew, who she thinks is still pretending to be a pod-person. To her horror, he points and screams!

Matthew and Elizabeth pretending to be "replaced"